Now I have seen everything.
I thought the story I blogged about shopping for nipples with the LA plastic surgeon was weird. This story however wins.
A reader just sent me this link click here
Sephora, which is a popular cosmetic line according to Mary Clare, my wife, is selling Benetint which according to their ad copy is for “Women want nipples to be pert and fresh-looking, and this shade makes them appear that way,” Benefit spokeswoman Alison Haljun says. Silly me, I always thought breasts were supposed to be perky.
It is "kiss-proof and water-resistant." I guess water-resistant is a euphemism for saliva resistant.
I never knew this, but I guess nipples are sort of like produce at the grocery store because “For a long time, the idea of a ripe, rosy nipple has been considered appealing and alluring.’’
I can see it now. Go into the produce section and ask for 6 apples, 1 watermelon, and 2 nipples. Make sure they are all ripe and rosy. How do you tell if a nipple is nice and ripe? Do you squeeze it first?
What does an unripe nipple looks like? Is it green like a banana? Is it really hard, sort of like an avocado? Maybe the reason boob job breasts are so hard is they haven't been allowed to ripen properly? Maybe if they stayed uncovered in the fresh air they would ripen up. If a nipple gets too ripe, is it mushy?
So now according to Sephora, if woman don't have enough things to worry about in their lives to try to attract a man, now they need to worry about the color of their nipples. What will Madison Avenue think of next? Butt crack sheen if you wear thong underwear?
Maybe that's why Antonella Barba was voted off of American idol, her nipples weren't ripe or fresh looking enough. I bet they were stale. She needed Benetint. Although personally I think Sephora added one letter too many to their product name. It should have been called "benetit."
Will they ever run ads on TV showing benetint in use?
Only in America are woman told their nipples aren't good enough and they need cosmetics to cover them up!
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6 comments:
Thanks Tom, I needed that laugh. This was definitely one of your better posts, but you did leave something out:
If you want to air out your nipples, and give them some color while having fun nude sunbathing, give The Terra Cotta Inn clothing optional reosrt and spa a call at 800-786-6938. Visit their site at http://sunnyfun.com Hope to see you in sunny Palm Springs!
:) I thought I'd help you out.
You're right, that is weird. I loved your commentary though. I'm not sure if I've ever come across an unripened or overripe nipple.
I really don't see the point of Benetint. If they want women to use this product as a means of attracting men, what's the point. Most men only notice that a woman usually has two. He really doesn't care if they're ripe or not.
And you didn't see the raving reviews on Amazon.com yet...
http://www.amazon.com/Benefit-Cosmetics-Benetint/dp/B00021AIYA
Dread,
Your right. I forgot my advertorial. Thanks for correcting me. Glad you liked the post.
Rick,
You are right. Who cares about the color. I forgot to research though if benetint is whipped cream flavored.
Azmodan, Your right. I guess some woman like it. My wife had heard of it. - Such an odd cosmetic.
I love it. Best chuckle I've had all week.
Maybe this will be the catalyst for the topfree movement. What's the point of using cosmetics if nobody can see them?
Well, I loved this story. Nipples should be pert, ripe, and fresh looking. Liberate the nipple!
(ps- I am going to post this story on my Quips & Chains fetish Blog, with proper credit and linkkbacks, of course. Kudos! Good luck in this week's sugasm!
Der Whip Mit Der Quips
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